Kevin Lagowski: Will John Foley give me some money for this old Phillies stuff?

Notable Phillies fan John Foley would surely love to have some of these vintage items to offer in his store, or even just keep them for his personal collection, no?

When you’re a fan of a team for long enough, you’re likely to accumulate a lot of swag/merch/apparel/what have you. This will range from shirts and hats to collectibles and yearbooks and, of course, ever-popular giveaway items.

The Phillies aren’t an exception to this, as they’ve pushed as much junk offered us just as many prized items over the years as any other pro sports organization, so boy do I have a lot of it sitting around and collecting dust. Luckily I know a guy who could use these things right now to support his brand new business or maybe just to put on the many shelves of the many rooms of his (I assume) Main Line estate. Let’s see what we dig out…

I’ll start with this prized poster of Lenny Dykstra and Dale Murphy as ‘Dr. Dirt and Mr. Clean’. The two were teammates on the Phils from the time of Murphy’s arrival in town in August of 1990 (a campaign that saw the Phils finish with 77 wins) through the 1991 (78 wins) and 1992 (70 wins) seasons. It was a forgettable time in the career of Murphy, who was on a Hall of Fame track through his age-31 season in 1987 but then fell off a cliff and was a shell of himself by the time the Braves traded him. Weirdly, Murphy only got to play in one playoff series in over a decade in Atlanta, then they became fantastic immediately after trading him.

Anyway, the aesthetic of this poster is pretty fetching. And even though the Phillies probably got their pants sued off by Procter & Gamble for putting the name ‘Mr. Clean’ in print, it was a pretty appropriate counterpoint to the dirt-covered Dykstra. Talk about capturing it perfectly for The Dude. Decades before he had to enlist his friend Sprinkles the Clown to help him find his dentures in a dumpster behind a Jersey Mike’s, Dykstra was lauded for his all-out effort and willingness to muss up his uniform. I’ve kept this piece in pretty good condition, and I know John will really love it when he purchases it off me. It’s also useful for keeping track of who the Phillies played on this date in 1991.

The Phillies gave these slammers out on Harry the Kalas Night for a 2000 game against the Dodgers, and…wait, what’s that? I’m being told that everyone has this. Ok, fine. At least I got to show you mine. Still has the tag and everything, John. Just ignore the drink there. I should have moved that.

This 1996 All-Star Game jug is my dad’s, and I had him send me a photo from his rotary phone. It’s 30 years old and still going strong. You could bring it to CBP and swig your favorite beverage out of it right now. Well, you COULD do that if you were allowed to do it anymore, but those days are over. Teams don’t like you bringing mystery liquids into the stadium, like how my friend’s dad used to tell the ushers that he had “iced tea” in his beer-stained huge Thermos. At the very least, this is a conversation piece that has a lot of relevance today as we finally approach another MLB All-Star Game in Philadelphia.

Ok, here’s another poster, and it’s a whopper. Got milk? Mike Schmidt sure did. And hopefully John would love to have this life-sized growth chart printout of the great Michael Jack. Some say it contains more personality than he ever showed in the broadcast booth. I’ve tried to figure out a good place to put this for years but have always come up empty. Maybe a bedroom ceiling? That’d certainly be unique.

For the pièce de résistance, behold these wooden seats that my dad and grandfather ripped out of Connie Mack Stadium on the day of its final game on October 1, 1970. Even comes with a very tattered ‘final game’ certificate that didn’t get put into plastic until way too late. There’s a lot of sentimental attachment to this, John, so it won’t come cheap. Maybe I could chip off a few splinters for you if you want to go that route. Suffice it to say, these have been sitting around my dad’s house for decades. He’ll finally just give them to me at some point, and then they’ll sit around my house. Maybe we could do some sort of “on loan” thing like a museum?

I’m curious, though; does anyone else have these? From what I’m told, everyone brought crowbars and wrenches that day to rip stuff out. Whatever “security” existed, they just let everyone walk in with tools. I guess it cut down on demolition costs, at least. Contrast this to all the rules today. Bags have to be clear, signs can’t be too big, you can’t bring a sledgehammer. Things used to be a lot more chill.

Ok that’s probably enough of a trip down memory lane for now. I hope John will entertain some of my offerings but, either way, I wish him all the best with the new store and all of his other ventures. He’s a true fan doing some great stuff for other fans.